Art,
beauty, nature, change, loss, grief...the last two years have really been a
time like no other for Stephen and me. As I’m sure it has been for many people
around the world. Little did we know, at the time of my last post, that the
world would be turned upside down by a global pandemic. The end of a year is a
time of natural reflection I suppose. As I missed last year, in this post I sum
up not just 2021 but 2020 as well.
In
March of 2020, Stephen suddenly transitioned to tele-working overnight. He set
up a make-shift office in a corner of our bedroom and began working 7 days a
week. In addition to his already intense workload, Stephen volunteered to help
with emergency use authorizations for ventilators, feeling the call to lend his
skills and expertise to the crisis effort. With both of us at home all the time
now, and Stephen no longer needing quick access to public transit to commute to
work, we found the apartment and location we thought we loved wern’t quite meeting
our needs. The pandemic changed what we wanted out of an apartment and its
location. So we moved. We found a nice suburban complex in the midst of lots of
walking trails. Stephen set up a proper home office complete with standing desk
and large extra monitor, I set up my art studio, and we had an entrance
directly from the outside. The direct entrance made it easier to get out for
exercise and easier to receive shipped packages and deliveries. I found a local
dairy and had milk, eggs, and butter delivered to our door. Stephen found a
company that shipped wine, made by a collection of independent wine makers. A crate of wine was delivered to our door. With movie theatres and restaurants
closed (our favorite forms of entertainment), we created our own dinner theatre
space in our apartment. I cooked from scratch a lot more until we started
getting more take-out. In many respects, we were able to navigate the worst of
the first year of Covid fairly unscathed.
Though
personally we were okay, I started reading more and more stories of how
children, parents, teachers and schools were facing unprecedented challenges. And
slowly I began to reconsider my de-facto retirement from teaching. Still, I
wasn’t eager to jump in with both feet. I wanted to help out with what seemed to
be a crisis but I wanted to get my bearings in a new state with new systems first. I
found the Black Student Achievement Program (BSAP) Summer Institute. It’s a
long running summer program to address the persistent achievement gap for black
students. In the last few years, it has joined with the Summer Institute and
has transitioned to a summer jump start on the school year. I contacted the
director of the program, had an interview and was offered a job. I volunteered
to teach music, but they already had their music teachers hired. What they
needed was reading teachers, so I accepted. As a bonus I also got to teach a
little bit of art in an enrichment class titled “Graphic Novel Art”. And I
still incorporated some music by teaching the kids silly songs to sing for transitions
from one activity or one teacher to the next.
I’ve
been curious about what it would be like to teach art classes at the elementary
level so I used the “Graphic Novel Art”
classes to fully immerse myself in all things artistic. I bought gouache, (also
called opaque watercolor), watercolor brushes and a small sketchbook for each
student. I then bought several elementary level graphic novels and studied
their design elements. The term “graphic novel” is used to expand the
perception as well as the substance of a traditional comic book. Pictures
(graphics) provide meaning to support text so struggling readers of all ages
find graphic novels appealing. But the classes I taught weren’t about reading
other authors’ graphic novels, it was for students to tell their own stories
using the graphic novel format. I was very eager to teach art, but I had no
idea how astounding my students’ work would be. I had two sections of Graphic
Novel Art, one for students who would be 3rd graders in the fall and
one for students who would be 4th graders. The 4th grade
class was a perfect size with only about 11 students. Using the graphic novel
series I discovered as models, I developed a process for a format that
allowed the students’ finished work to have a nice presentation. I taught
students the process for the format and the students filled that format with their
own unique stories and artwork. Their first drafts astonished me. The class was
just a month long, so students really only had time to get the introduction of
their stories completed. I wanted to give students tools and skills so they
could bring their stories to life in the own individual voice. I think the
examples below show that I was successful in my goal.
But
perhaps more important was that I wanted these students to feel safe and
valued. That for me was evidenced in how much fun they seem to have had and I
definitely had! The most rewarding
aspect of teaching my first art class was how diligently students came into
class and got straight to work. Their motivation was high and the room had a
nice hum of focused attention.
My first section of Rising 3rd grade literacy was another unexpected joy. Together we created a nice community feel and as a result I was able to try out ideas I’ve had tucked away in my brain. My favorite example was a traditionally competitive game that I turned into a class wide collaborative effort to celebrate individual achievement. I called the game “the phonics game” a version of which I played myself in a college Spanish class. There are three teams and one person from each team goes to the board at a time. I call out a word and they need to spell it correctly. Like the traditional competitive game, the student who spelled the word correctly first was given the most points. But then the game departs. The remaining students were encouraged to keep playing even after there had been a “winner”. Some students struggle more than others to spell correctly. (I can relate to those students: spelling has never been a strong suit for me.) We can all relate to the disappointment, or even embarrassment, of coming in last. I think kids are already under so much pressure to perform and get things “right” that I deliberately take actions in my classroom to blunt that pressure. I want to create a safe space for kids to take risks and make mistakes. It’s my philosophy that children will have a better chance of reaching greater heights, if they have a softer landing when they fail. To encourage every student to spell correctly even if they weren’t the first, I started saying “clap for persistence” after a student had worked for several minutes to get to the right answer. The BSAP program used “The Six Ps” as guiding principles. One of those Ps was “persistence”. My phrase caught on and the students started saying it even before I did. They really liked to be encouraged and wanted everyone to feel included and brave enough to try. I should also note that the “teams” weren’t set. I could call any student to go up and play for any of the teams. The kids themselves didn’t even know beyond a single round who played for which “team”.
Teaching is always intense work for me. The very first day of the Summer Institute, I was up until 2am the night before writing sub plans because HR hadn’t cleared all my paper work yet and I couldn’t be in the classroom! And through the weeks that followed, I was often up at 4am planning. There was even one morning that I got up at 3:30am! So, by the end of the BSAP Summer Institute, I was not keen to jump into a full-time position. I decided to sub instead. You’ve heard of the “teacher shortage” no doubt. Well, the substitute teacher shortage is even worse. In the two districts I’ve signed up to substitute teach in, hundreds of jobs are listed every week, and many of them just go unfilled. At the moment substitute teaching works for me. I can sign up for jobs, (mostly music and art jobs) but also reserve some days to work on my painting.
As
for the loss and grief over the last two years, it’s been hard. In the fall of
2020, we lost our good old horse Rosie. It hit me really hard. I read the email
from my mom while out harvesting produce. I stood in the middle of the farm,
all alone, and cried my eyes out. My sister was home the night Rosie went to
the great pasture in the sky and she said as Rosie passed on, she saw a
shooting star in the night sky. I hope Rosie is running and jumping free now.
2021
has been much worse. In the spring, my uncle Ozzie caught a virus and because
of the weakened state his cancer had left him in, he couldn’t fight off the
virus. He battled in the hospital for several weeks and we all prayed fiercely
for him. It’s hard to believe he’s gone, but my heart knows it’s true and it
aches with sadness.
As
if losing one loved one isn’t hard enough in one year, in September my dear
Aunt Radelle lost her battle with her life long auto-immune diseases. My aunt developed her first severe auto-immune
disease as a young girl. I have autoimmune diseases as well. I have different
ones than she had, but my doctors have told me that if you get one you are more
likely to also get others. My aunt enjoyed a number of artistic pursuits and I
wonder if she might have been an orchid. I’m thankful she had a loving caring
husband by her side through her whole adult life.
And
then almost exactly one month later, my uncle Mike lost his battle with cancer.
He was kind to me when I saw him. Even though it was rare for me to visit, he
was always curious and asked questions about my art.
Loss and grief. They have changed me. I imagine loss and grief change everyone. In ways we know and in ways we don’t. I have an illustrated book about grief called “Tear Soup” that I have referred back to several times over the last couple of decades. A teacher friend of mine gave it to me at an important moment in my life when it really spoke to me. The illustrations are lush, the color palette subdued but rich in detail. Visually, it’s balm for the heart. I want to give full credit to the authors: Pat Schwiebert and Chuck DeKlyen, and the illustrator: Taylor Bills. It’s an important piece of work they have created. Below is the front cover.
And I want to share just one page from inside the book. I have always liked this illustration because it shows that there are many events that happen to us in our lives that are cause for grief. I want to add that this is by no means an exhaustive list, but a sampling of types of loss.
We don’t yet know what 2022 will hold. Stephen and I will continue to seek beauty, in nature and in human interaction. We will work to practice kindness ourselves and celebrate kindness we see in others.
I will continue to create art and hopefully it will be beautiful and healing in some way.
I end this post with some images I’ve taken out in nature. I was gifted a new telephoto lens for my birthday. As my gear and skills have improved, so has my enjoyment of photography. Taking pictures has become one of my favorite things to do. I hope you feel some of the joy, looking at my images, that I felt while capturing them. Cheers to the end of 2021 and the start of 2022!
