Nepal

Happy October! My favorite month of the year now has one more reason I love it: we just returned from a trip to Nepal, and I get to write a blog post about that! 

Stephen’s position with the WHO is a regional position. This was a work trip for him to meet with Nepal partners. Lucky for me, I got to tag along. After all, an opportunity to visit Kathmandu doesn’t come along every day! And I’m so glad I took it: I had more fun in those 5 days than I have had since before the pandemic. I highly recommend visiting Nepal to everyone. Just like Stephen Strange, you too can find what you’re looking for.

 Even if, like me, you didn’t know you needed it. 

We had an early flight, so we called an Uber to drive us to the airport. Our driver was prompt and then drove almost exactly how you would imagine if you’ve seen any movies with Indian taxi drivers. 

Except our driver was safe. He pushed the limits a bit. But safe, nonetheless. Once at the airport, we practically jumped out the car, and then he was off again. 

It is recommended that you get to the Indira Gandhi International Airport 4 hours ahead of your flight. We decided 2 ½ hrs was enough and it just was.

It was my first time in the departure side of the airport.  Which was pleasant, after you made your way through the airport shops. We had just enough time for a coffee and then we were supposed to board.

Stephen did a precheck to see where Gate 6 was. The low number is misleading. The closest gate was Gate 15 and Gate 6 was a 15min walk. Once he got back, he sat down to drink his coffee, and I went ahead. 

I was all set for a jaunt, but just as I walked past Gate 15, an airport shuttle driver kindly offered me a ride. I made it to the gate just as the first announcement to board was made. 

Nepal borders India so that flight was just 1hr 20 min. The last time we were on a plane, we were sitting for eight hours, so this seemed like nothing by comparison. I was, however, reminded of that last leg from Amsterdam to India. There was the same bizarre seating shuffling. First, when we arrived at our row, the window seat was occupied so Stephen and I sat in the middle and aisle seats. I was surprised because we almost never reserve that particular configuration of seats. But I also knew that the WHO was involved in the booking of the flights, so I just assumed an agent had reserved the seats for us. (You know what they say about assuming.) We sat this way for quite some time, boarding was continuous and slow, stragglers abounded, until a man asked us what our seat numbers were. I had 3E. Which is a middle seat. But Stephen was in the middle seat, so we just thought we were in reverse order. This guy persisted and finally we asked the guy in the window seat what his seat number was. Turns out he was on the wrong side of the plane. And someone else was in his window seat. He moved but just accepted the middle seat next to the guy in his seat. Odd. Our side of the row was now all correct. But this was more the exception than the rule. A woman with a shaved head dressed in maroon robes had been moving around the plane, talking to the flight attendants. I couldn’t make out why, but for some reason she was not happy with her seat. She plopped down in the open aisle seat across the aisle in our row. And then asked for her bag from a passenger in the row behind us. But the seat she sat in was not free and the guy whose seat it was, showed up. This woman then asked the flight attendant, “Can he just have my seat?” And she pointed to a window seat behind her, not to the seat she had apparently just left. Bafflingly, (to me anyway) the man was okay to exchange seats. And the flight attendants had no problem either. The departure time came and went and still people were boarding the plane in twos and threes. By this point, it really felt like a free for all. One guy was trying to stuff his huge carryon in the compartment above his seat that was already mostly full. A flight attendant came along, took small bags out and gave them to their owners. Another guy was trying to find his seat, which was another window seat occupied by someone else. He also accepted the middle.

The professor who led our trip to Thailand, when I was in my graduate teaching program, might have made this into a lesson about cultural differences. What was happening on this flight leaving India for Nepal, and the last leg to India from Amsterdam before it, broke all the norms I’m used to, coming from the US. And this caused a visceral reaction in me. Because of his classes, I intellectually understood why I was feeling the way I was feeling. But in the moment, it was still difficult for me to not feel quite irritated. I had to remind myself that I am in another culture, by choice.

Thankfully, the flight back was completely different.

They finally closed the doors and we were ready for take-off. As soon as we were at elevation, I drew on my iPad, and before I knew it we were getting ready to land.

Then it was a quick passage through customs because Stephen now has Diplomatic status, and we can go through the special “Diplomats” line. A van from the hotel was waiting, the driver was holding a sign with our name. He had a pleasant demeanor, moving quickly to load our luggage and get us on our way. Right away I noticed the lines for lanes on the streets and that our van and the cars and motorcycles around us were staying in those lanes. 

This may not sound like a big deal, it’s an expected norm in many cities and towns around the world. But we have been in India for 6 months now. Where we live and travel around in India, lane lines are mostly absent, and they are ignored even if they are present. The streets of Kathmandu felt calmer and more peaceful. Stephen learned later that there is a law that bans honking. What a change from the near continuous honking in Delhi. 

We arrived at Hotel Himalaya after a short drive from the airport. And it felt just wonderful right from the start. I knew it was a good sign, when as we were turning off the street into the driveway of the hotel, that I noticed a huge art supply store on the opposite street corner! How cool is that?!

Once checked into our room, we went to the hotel restaurant for lunch. For lunch, we chose the buffet which had a wonderful spread of Nepalese dishes as well as some western dishes too. The Nepalese chicken dish and the fish dish were amazing. We already love many types of Asian food, now we can add Nepalese cuisine to our list.

While we enjoyed our delicious cappuccinos after lunch, we noticed the event happening outside. Games, music, a stand-up comedian…It went on throughout the afternoon and evening. The next morning, the clean-up crew dismantled the pavilion. 

These are scenes we’ve seen in different countries throughout Asia. Safety standards are different from the US. Throughout our stay, there were different events happening every day at the hotel. On the last day, there was what seemed like a wedding. A band played as the wedding party proceeded across the lawn. 

I took photos from our hotel window.

Sunday was our first full day in Nepal, so mid-morning we headed to Patan Durbar Square, a UNESCO World Heritage Site. We took our first Nepalese taxi to the square. 

The streets all around the square are narrow. It made us think of the narrow streets of Zanzibar. Cars, motorcycles, horse drawn carts, bicycles and pedestrians all share the road.

The roads are old cobble stone paths, very uneven. The ancient buildings are extremely ornate. 

I spent a little time on a sketch of one of them, not a quick task. 

The Patan Durbar Square felt a bit like Anchor Wat in Cambodia. But unlike Anchor Wat, Patan Durbar Square is in the middle of many small shops and restaurants. We tried two different restaurants, the first one for cappuccinos and a view. (See if you can spot two monkeys in one of the photos below).

And later for a Nepalese traditional meal. 

At one of the Patan Museum shops I bought a beautifully hand embroidered silk scarf. 

And a shawl made of Yak hair. 

Yaks are used as pack animals for the treks up the Himalayas. I admired a whole gallery of paintings depicting Yaks and different mountains. We also ate Yak cheese offered at breakfast.

The currency for Nepal is the Nepalese Rupee. Nepal definitely has some of the most artistic money of any country we’ve visited. 

The Nepalese Rupee is not the same as an Indian Rupee but the Nepalese will take Indian Rupees for payment. I used all Indian Rupees to pay for my scarf and shawl. The shop keeper used the exchange rate and quoted her price in Indian Rupees for me. Exchange rates vary but currently 100 hundred Indian Rupees are worth $1.22 and 100 Nepalese Rupees are worth $0.76. We used both currencies for payment and tips in Nepal.

When we were ready to leave Patan Durbar Square and return to the hotel we walked to the taxi station. The taxi ride back was a little more frenzied than the ride to the square.

Monday morning Stephen worked from the hotel and then had meetings in the city. Nepal, like every other country in the world, is reeling from the pandemic. Work is being done to transition from emergency response to implementing a path forward to strengthening the healthcare systems, including for future pandemic response. Stephen's current work here focuses on medical oxygen supply and in vitro diagnostics.

I used my time at the hotel to draw in my sketchbook and on my iPad.

I visited the art supply store across the street twice. Turns out the day we arrived was their grand opening. After I inquired about a couple of watercolor supplies I was looking for, one of the employees told me that they had just opened this store. It was their flagship store and they had worked hard to get things in place for the grand opening. It was a well-stocked store. I was amazed by all the products I found, but he said they had three times as much still in a warehouse. I’m always delighted by art supplies and art supply stores. Kathmandu and the suburb where our hotel was located, Kupondole, are artistic communities.

When I drew on my iPad in the restaurant while waiting for a cappuccino or a smoothie, the hotel staff would smile or make a comment of approval. This appreciation and celebration of art and artists, undoubtedly contributed to the feeling of joy and peace I felt the whole time we were in Nepal. I hope we can take another trip in the future, to explore more.

It was a short trip but we had the best time! I hope to go back soon and go on a bird and tiger safari in the Chitwan National Park.

India Expat Life Chapter 3: 

New apartment, Language, Pollution, the W-curve

In my first blog post from India, I wrote that we were trying to hold our expectations lightly. I think we have been mostly successful in that effort. Because as I’m writing this today, we are approaching the three-month mark and I’m starting to feel like India is our own personal paradise. There are numerous delights and unexpected happy surprises that we have encountered in our short time here already. And it may be precisely because we held our expectations loosely that we are able to enjoy such feelings of gratitude now. That isn’t to say that we didn’t acutely feel the W-curve, however. Long-time readers of this blog may recall a cultural immersion phenomenon, coined the W-curve by my grad school professor, that I wrote about from South Africa. (Here’s a link back to that post.) Moving to another country is challenging, but the way I’m feeling today, persevering through the challenges grants untold rewards on the other side. So first, a few of our challenges. Then, some of the rewards we’ve been able to enjoy so far.

Air pollution is bad in Delhi

Very early on, Stephen started to experience something that we weren’t expecting so soon: the air pollution was making him sick. He has asthma and is therefore more sensitive to air pollutants than I am. Keep in mind, we both wear masks whenever we leave the apartment. After just a few weeks here, he sneezed and wheezed all weekend long. His eyes were itchy and watery. At work, he has an air filter right at his desk, but at home we didn’t have anything to purify the air. It became a top priority to purchase not one, but two air filters. First Stephen bought a Dyson on his way home from work.

Then on the weekend, we found a shopping mall and there Stephen purchased a Philips air purifier.

The air purifiers helped but Stephen was still wheezing and felt a heaviness in his chest. While riding in an auto-rickshaw to work, he noticed sheets hanging on lines drying in the wind. And it occurred to him that the dust from the air was embedding itself into the fibers of the cloth. Sleeping on pillowcases that had dried outside meant breathing in the dust trapped between the fibers. At the time, we were living in a “serviced apartment”. It’s similar to a hotel in that daily cleaning services are provided. Which means that, among other things, they change the bedding. Though we didn’t see where the sheets were dried, we assume they were dried outside. So, I started to search for a place to purchase our own pillowcases and pillows. In every country, things are packaged differently. The brands are all different. Though we do see familiar brands here and there, most things we’ve never seen before. What I finally found was a package that contained one flat sheet and two pillow cases. Flat sheets are much more common internationally. Fitted sheets are harder to find. We had purchased pillows at a furniture store but they had to be ordered and then delivered. While we waited for the pillows to arrive, I started replacing the pillowcases provided by the apartment complex with the ones I purchased, washed with my own washer, and dried indoors. Incidentally, we don’t have a dryer. We have a drying rack instead.

Though dryers are ubiquitous in the US, they are rare in the countries we’ve moved to. The drying rack is better anyway right now because the air is so hot and dry, a load of laundry dries in a few hours. And we save the electricity needed to power an electric dryer.

In addition to buying air filters and putting our own pillowcases on the pillows, Stephen went to a WHO doctor. The doctor examined him and told him he had some obstruction (he’s never smoked in his life) that was reversible and prescribed medicine to be delivered through an inhaler. For three weeks he used the inhaler twice a day. Now he only needs medicine once a day and is feeling much better.

Stephen’s WHO work

We had been living in Delhi for less than a month when Stephen developed symptoms. Stephen and I already wear N95 masks nearly all the time outside our apartment. And still we needed to implement all these additional measures to mitigate his breathing problem. Which makes me think about the other 30 million people in this city. Many do not have the money to buy air filters. Drying clothes and bedding outside is often the only option. I see people wearing masks or covering their faces with scarves or bandanas. They know or feel how unhealthy the air is. And that is exactly why we are here. That is why Stephen has taken a job with WHO, sacrificing a more lucrative job, career path, and long-term personal benefits. We don’t want anyone to suffer, particularly from preventable diseases and illnesses. We very much hope that Stephen’s work with the WHO will allow him to alleviate some of the suffering people are already experiencing and also prevent future suffering.

Hindi Language Study

While Stephen was busy learning his new job, I was trying to learn the Hindi language. I came to India with the expectation that English would suffice for daily life and that learning Hindi was almost like a side project for my own pleasure or amusement. However, while Stephen and I are able to hobble along, our communication can be very limited. I have experienced some extremely frustrating situations because I couldn’t speak Hindi and the other person couldn’t speak English well enough.

I started studying Hindi from the very first day. It was my plan while we were still in the US that I would begin, immediately upon arrival, studying the most common language of India. Language study has been on my goal list for a number of years now. This time I’m determined to become bilingual and Hindi will be my second language. I thought it might benefit me to do a little research to see how other people become fluent in a language not their mother tongue. YouTube suggested to me a Ted talk about polyglots, people who speak multiple languages. The main message that the speaker delivered was that there is no one right way to learn a new language. When she interviewed other polyglots, she is one herself, each one had a different approach. Her take away, and the advice she wanted to pass along to others was 1. find a way to enjoy learning a new language and 2. develop a system that weaves language learning into your life. As with almost everything else I do in life, I’m using my creativity and artistic skills. I bought metallic brush pens, sparkly watercolor and black paper to practice writing the quite artistic Hindi script. 

One night while Stephen was on his weekly international call that he does at home, I slowly painted sentences in Hindi. It was meditative and relaxing. 

Duolingo App

My language study this time is a multi-step plan. The first step is using the free language app Duolingo. I’ve been using Duolingo every day since we arrived. It wasn’t until I had a 15-day studying streak that I discovered the game aspects of this app. The app ranks learners by points and puts them in “leagues”. I started in the Bronze League. (I’m now in the Diamond League, the highest.) There are 25 or 30 learners in each league and the top 5 or 10 or 15 (depending on the league) move on to another league. When I decided to “play” I was maybe 9^th in the Bronze League. Since I was in the top 15, I moved up to the Silver League at the end of the week. Since I was enjoying myself so much, I ended up spending a lot more time on the app in the second week and ended up with a lot more points. I made it to the top three by midweek. Well, this ranking system brought forward my competitive nature. In high school, I didn’t only want to get A’s, I wanted to be the top in every class. And I graduated Valedictorian. High school was quite a while ago. People who meet me now might not suspect I used to be quite competitive. But one Duolingo learner discovered that I most certainly can recall that side of myself, given the right circumstances. On that particular week, I had moved into the top spot, toppling the current leader.  Since I had been studying for maybe an hour already that afternoon, I stopped there and closed the app. Duolingo notified me soon after that this other learner had regained their spot. I waited until the next day and then I spent a lot of time earning tons of points to give myself a sizable lead. The other player seemed resigned and left their points the same for a day or more. I had a suspicion this might be a tactic. And it turned out I was right. With only an hour left until the top three medals were awarded for the week, I received notification that this learner had once again seized the top position. Well! I opened the app and started going through lesson after lesson in the “lightening” round. It took maybe 20 minutes of intense focus but I again regained my lead. But this other learner was playing just as fast and we were switching between 1^st and 2^nd for another 15 minutes. Finally, I started to pull ahead. I set my timer on my phone for 35 minutes and I kept playing. When I had a 1000pt lead, I stopped going through lessons and just sat with the app open watching the leaderboard. There is a green dot next to your name that lets you and others know who is online at any given time. This other learner had closed the app. I think hoping to lull me into thinking I was safe again. But I wasn’t going to fall for that ploy a second time. And sure enough, with 1 minute left on the clock, this learner came back online. There was no way they could overtake me at this point and I finished the week in 1^st place! 

I’ve been studying Hindi for 85 days straight now.  85 days, never missing a single day. Which checks the box for the 2^nd recommendation from the Ted speaker: develop a system that weaves language learning into your life. The Duolingo app itself makes daily study pretty easy. But I am also highly motivated: almost every day I encounter a situation that makes me wish I were fluent in Hindi. So, lots of motivation plus a good language program with manageable lessons are proving to be a good combination for me. I’m starting to recognize words in YouTube commercials and I’ve started to practice with the security guards and our gardener. Though I’m sure my pronunciation and grammar are awkward to their ears, they smile at my attempts. Hindi proves useful on the street as well when someone is being particularly pushy with their sales pitch. I can say “No thank you” a dozen times and they will persist, undeterred. But if I say the Hindi word for no, “Nayhee”, I see a flicker of understanding in their eyes and they stop abruptly.

Apartment hunting: finding a long-term place to live

As I wrote a couple posts back, we moved out of The Park hotel after a week. The Park was a wonderful place to land upon first entering the country. The staff were amazing. It was rated a “5-star” hotel and so we were expecting premium accommodations. It was only after we’d been here awhile that Stephen learned that India has its own rating system. They have 7-star hotels! Where 5-star is the highest rating in the US, in India, a 5-star hotel is just a good hotel. But in my view, the staff were US standard 5-star. Though, truth be told, I’m not sure you could find such amazing service anywhere in the US, no matter how expensive the rooms might be.

From The Park we moved to some serviced apartments Stephen learned about from a work associate. The WHO is a UN organization and as such has strict security standards. These serviced apartments had already passed the security clearance, since another WHO employee was currently living there, so that made the move quick and easy.

We had a serviced apartment in Laos. And though it sounds great to have someone else clean for you, it’s just not for me. My artistic introverted personality makes me prize a quiet uninterrupted space. I would prefer to do the work of cleaning myself, just so I can have more control over my space. When I’m working on an acrylic painting for example, it’s a lot of set up and clean up on either side of the actual painting. Arranging for cleaning means organizing my time and my errands around someone else’s schedule. Of course, it all can be done, but for me it’s an added complication I prefer not to have in my life.

So almost immediately, I contacted a real estate agent and started looking. I wanted to know what the range of possibilities were so I wanted to see as many different places as I could. We had a place to stay, had paid for a couple of months, so there was no rush. But real estate agents want to get deals done quickly. I understand their perspective: the faster a deal closes the sooner they get paid and can move onto the next client and closed deal. But I’ve lived in 5 foreign countries already and I wanted a lovely place in India where I could settle in for a while, if that was possible. And in the first two days of looking, I discovered Delhi has good options, that we can afford, so I wanted to take my time to find just the right place for us.

I decided to take a pause with the first agent and work with another one. The second agent had quite the impressive operation. A large team and each team member had a very small focused part of the process. And at first, that seemed to be a good thing. But we ran into a snag right away. Maybe because there was a whole team to pay for, there was even more pressure to make a quick decision than with the first agent. After one day---one full day of looking at 8 different properties---the woman who showed them to me wanted me to make a final decision. But I insisted that I look again at a few of the properties I liked AND for Stephen to see them too. Finally, she arranged for Rohit to meet us on a Saturday. (Rohit is a common Indian name. I’ve met at least 5 so far. So I’m not revealing his identity actually, by using his name.) Rohit’s job was finding the properties. His English wasn’t as strong as the woman who showed me the apartment but he clearly understood what I wanted. He found an apartment I adored as soon as I walked into the main room. It wasn’t on the initial property list but something he found after spending time with me, listening to what I had to say as we went through the first few properties. Rohit is excellent at his job. It was fun looking at a couple of the properties with him again. If he had his own business, I suspect he would be quite successful. Maybe one day he will.

So, the deal was about to close. We had decided to go with the property Rohit found. All that was left was furniture selection. I had negotiated for the owners to provide the furnishings. I thought the meeting was going to be an opportunity for me to select from a few choices of furnishings. Not like buying our own furniture of course, but at least a few choices. It was just me again, the meeting was on a weekday, so Stephen was working. But then it turned out to be a meeting with 9 people including me. It seemed like a big production. In sharp contrast to my expectations, the owner’s furniture guy had pictures of the previous furnishings and was just showing them to me. No options, no input from me---an artist!--- about style or color or quantity or quality. It was super bizarre. I went into the meeting so happy, things seemed to be going so well, that I didn’t realize it was a kind of a slight of hand, until I got home. But my intuition, my body, knew what was going  on well before my brain could catch up: back in our serviced apartment, I had some of the worst heart palpitations I’ve ever had in my life! I knew something was terribly wrong but it took awhile for me to process. It was only after I tried to express my concerns about the furniture---I didn’t like any of it and I wanted to renegotiate for better quality things---that I found out why I had such a strong reaction. There was no willingness to accommodate my request but instead I got things like “let me explain to you how things work in India” and “this is ‘Indian’ furniture and you won’t find anything different anywhere else” from both the closing agent and the initial contact agent. Again, so bizarre. Even in just the properties this group had shown me, I saw different styles as well as a range of quality. Turns out the fancy SUVs with drivers and 10 different people doing 10 separate parts of a job isn’t really so great after all. My request was not unreasonable nor was it that complicated. But there was nothing but condescension and high-pressure tactics from them to just accept their deal as it was. And so, even though I loved the property, I called the whole deal off.

After I lamented the loss of what seemed like my dream property, I resolved to find something even better. I contacted the first agent again and we started a new search. I now had a clear idea of what Delhi has to offer and I wasn’t going to settle until I found our perfect home away from home. Now with the right focus, the agent and his right-hand man found a nice assortment of excellent properties for me to choose from. All of them had potential, but we ultimate decided on the one that seemed to meet nearly all the criteria we had, and then some! After my previous failed deal, I was tough as nails right through to the very end. I negotiated for everything we wanted and didn’t settle. And now I’m very pleased to report that I think we ended up with one of the best places in the city! We both love it! And the owners are amazing. People often say, “anything you need, just let us know” but when push comes to shove, their words are pretty hollow. Well, that is most definitely not the case here. Yesterday, I found I had a plumbing problem in the kitchen. I texted the owner and shared pictures of the issue. Less than 30 minutes later he showed up at my door with a plumber! That plumber looked under the sink and knew immediately how to fix it. He removed some of the pipe and then went to the market to buy the parts. He was back soon after and fixed everything beautifully. He also cleaned the whole under sink area too. 

From the time I contacted the owner, to the time the plumber finished, less than 2 hours had passed. 

The owners paid for the repair but I gave the plumber a tip for his fast efficient work. He bowed as he accepted the money. This is not the first time I have received this kind of a gesture. And it’s amazing. Never in my life have I received such graciousness from people as I have here in India. Being treated with dignity and respect is truly priceless.

The monsoons are coming to Delhi now. In other parts of India, the rains are already in full swing. We had our first really good rain yesterday and it was amazing. The rain made me so happy, I felt inspired to make a short video right then. 

This is my daily view. It’s where I write and paint. An artist’s/writer’s paradise.

And speaking of paradise, I’ll end with the videos I made of our rooftop terrace.

This space is exclusively ours, included with the apartment. The owners have put a lot of love into this space. They already had a gardener engaged and recommended him to us. We happily took their recommendation. I definitely have plans for a future garden, but there are too many other things to manage at the moment so I’m perfectly content to give our gardener a job. And just enjoy sitting among the plants and watching the parrots in the evening.